beowulf's daughter

It occurs to me as I write these posts that this blog is more of a place of general outpouring, in much the same way that my very cringeworthy diaries were in my teenage years. Just a stream of consciousness glimpse into what's in my head in the five minutes or so that i write. That's partly because i have so little time in the day, what with baby and child and cooking and job hunting and writing and laminating bugs... and partly because I haven't really been sure what this blog is supposed to be - is it to find a future audience for my novels (I wish), to have a platform for my recipes and cooking ideas, to talk about motherhood and working and how complicated it all is, or is it to showcase my obviously sparkling writing talent?
I still don't really know, so for now it will continue in this rather haphazard rambling tone. and we'll see how go from here.
For today, I have been mostly preoccupied with a project I started nearly ten years ago. I was a primary school teacher in east London, and wrote a paper on storytelling and how it has an impact on children's written stories. We were working on Beowulf (it linked with our project on the Vikings) and I was inspired to try my own hand at retelling the story - from the point of view of his (entirely fictional daughter). Anyhow, it sort of grew and grew, I travelled through Sweden and Denmark in my holidays and managed to write most of a novel. And then I sort of forgot about it, quit teaching, bought a shop and moved to North Wales. Yes, I know, fickle. But I was young, and foolish...
So here i am, nine years later and my mother has been on at me to go back and finish the book. So I re read it, and you know what? It's not half bad. I really think it might be quite good, so I'm going to get my old Viking books out and start again. And finish it this time. And maybe, just maybe,  this time next year I'll be laminating pictures of Vikings for birthday parties.

laminating bugs

I am crouched on the floor, a wobbly sitting baby playing with soggy toast crusts between my knees, laminating bugs. Yes, it's kids party time again.. Matilda turns six net week, and instead of the ubiquitous frozen theme we are having a bug party! so my hands are more full than usual, with game planning, cake baking, and yes, bug laminating. for the bug treasure hunt you understand. And in the midst of all this, I'm trying to tidy up the manuscript for the tiredness book (ironic i know - more on this later) write a proposal for the young adult book I have half finished but am sending to agents anyway, and send my CVs to various cafes and restaurants in the area. Ah the joys. Stay at home mum my foot. somehow I manage to do everything, just only half as well, and half as enthusiastically. How does everyone else manage this? And how on earth does one slot creativity and free flowing thought into the miniscule pockets of time there are between nappy changes, carrot pureeing and job hunting?somehow it all works out but not in any organised way. The bugs aside, i find that the creative parts of my brain have been swept into the farthest recesses of my brain, where the dust balls and lost toys and random coins have ended up. reaching in there and pulling something half decent out is a challenge.
On a related note, I was given a copy of mslexia this week - check it out, if you (dear imaginary reader) are vaguely interested in writing, creativity, being a woman... www.mslexia.co.uk

thanks! (oh and if you need any tips on how to throw the perfect bug party, do send me a comment :)

solar storms and dilemmas..

baby River didn't sleep last night. well, she got about three hours in total. Apparently lots of our friend's kids did the same. Call me a hippy (and my husband frequently does) but could it have anything to do with the massive solar storm currently raging on out there? It prtobably doesn't but it helps me if I feel there is some rhyme or reason to the complete non-routine of River's sleeping.
Anyhoo, so we have all had very little sleep, and simple porridge isn't going to cut it today. So my plan for dinner (after lunch at a cafe in town where I've applied to work - fingers crossed) is pasta. with cream. and maybe a smidgen of garlic and some sliced chestnut mushrooms. Followed by rice pudding. Made properly, with caramelised sugar and lots of full fat milk, baked on a low heat for hours, a la Simon Hopkinson. mmmmm just the thought alone ought to get me through this day. that and the best coffee in town... birds nest cafe here i come :)

begin again again

sooooooooo.....
I appear to take the same approach to blogging that I have the rest of my life - full of short lived enthusiasm and extreme haphazardness. So, this is blog attempt number two - hopefully more honest than the first time, and more realistic in my attempts at virtual baring-of-the-soul.
Our house is the aforementioned. Having two young children, as well as some ambition to do something other than just clear up dried babyfood and toys off the floor, we wouldn't get through the week without crumpets. or muffins. or, our current favourite, hot cross buns! Yay for cheap mass produced sweet toast-able dough product!
Having said that, I've been feeding my kids (surreptitiously) lots of pretty extremely healthy things too - chia seeds in their bread, kale smoothies for after school snacks (disguised with frozen mango) and greek yoghurt with everything. River, the eight month old, was snacking on quinoa and feta salad yesterday.. so i feel a little less guilty filling them with white dough the rest of the time :)

on another note, it is spring, finally!